26 January 2011

continuing in the "bags that bethany really really wants but in no way on this green earth can possibly afford" trend, check out this lovely piece of leather.


purdy, ain't it?
and even better, they have a wicked sense of humor.
take for example, their Common Questions page:

How can I convince my honey that I need this?
So you want it. Now comes the hard part of convincing your honey that you need it. Maybe if you throw some of these phrases into the conversation, it'll help.
Her to Him
You know, I feel frisky just thinking about that leather piece.
I would just feel so sexy carrying this on my body.
I don't think I'd need to go shopping for another thing all year after buying something like this.
Him to Her

Looking at this case just makes me want to HOLD you.
I don't know why, but owning a hope and a dream like this, makes me want to just sit down on the couch and OPEN UP about the hopes and dreams we share.
Think of all of the extra TIME we'd spend TOGETHER on our long walks holding hands and showing off the leather.
Me to Both of You
You'll be more popular. You'll have more friends. What's wrong, you chicken? I might invite you to my birthday party. If you don't buy this case, then next year, when you're scouring the internet again looking for your next garage sale piece because yours is already torn or broken, your mind will drift back to my words. You'll slowly shake your head and say, "Man, was that guy right or what". And then you'll slightly squint, press your lips together and give a few small nods. I tell you what, buy it now or kick yourself later.
I've made this for you to break in. It'll take a few months until it really starts to look cool, and you'll have to use it a lot. In fact, the more you use it, the better it looks (and it already looks great). It'll eventually form to the places on your body it touches regularly. The edges will soften and round some to become even more chic and classic looking than it already does.


Where can I see one of these cases in person?
I don't have any of the items in stores and we're not big fans of folks coming to our home because of the weirdo factor. My sister, Patricia, and her husband (my Chess and Scrabble nemesis) send out the leather from their place near Ft. Worth, Texas. But again, because of the weirdo factor, they don't want you dropping by there either. If it helps, everyone tells me that they're much more impressed with them in person.



Are the animals tortured before they are slaughtered?
Absolutely not! With some pigs we do use waterboarding and sensory deprivation techniques previous to slaughtering them, but the cows do not require any special handling.



How much do these leather things cost you, Dave?
Well, I lived for three years in a $100 a month apartment in Mexico with no hot water, because of these bags. My dog, Blue, and I drove for thousands of hours all over the North American continent because of these bags. I had a crooked Federale sent to kill me because of these bags (I convinced him that Senor Alarcon would never pay him) and we became friends). I've shed gallons of blood and tears and sweat and at least a quart of other people's, because of these bags. I've slept in my car or on the rack of my old Land Cruiser at least 150 times because of these bags. I've lost weeks of sleep and have gone hungry for days because of these bags. I was broke for years and even had to trade two of Blue's little puppies for a month's worth of tacos in order to eat because of these bags. I've been detained by who knows how many Mexican police because of these bags. I've thrown away thousands of dollars and made hundreds of mistakes because of these bags. I've been stolen from, taken advantage of and robbed because of these bags (they even stole Blue once, but I got him back). All of these things and more have happened to me because of these bags. They cost me a lot.


[via]

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